Cookie Policy

Welcome to our Cookie Policy! Unlike real cookies, these digital cookies won't make you fat or give you diabetes. But they might track what you're doing on our site. Delicious, right?

What Are Cookies?

Cookies are small text files that websites store on your computer. They're like:

• Digital breadcrumbs (Hansel and Gretel would approve)
• Website memory (we forget things easily)
• Tracking pixels (but not the creepy kind)
• Local storage (but smaller)
• Website memory (we forget things easily)
• Uniquely you (so you dont appear as someone else)
• Website memory (we forget things easily)

Types of Cookies We Use

Essential Cookies

These cookies are necessary for the website to function. Without them, the site would be as useful as a chocolate teapot.

• Session Cookies: Remember you're logged in (if we had login)
• Security Cookies: Protect against hackers (we hope)
• Load Balancing Cookies: Make sure the site doesn't crash

Analytics Cookies

These cookies help us understand how people use our site. Basically, we're nosy.

• Page View Cookies: Counts how many people visit each page
• Time Spent Cookies: Tracks how long you stare at our content
• Click Cookies: Records what you click (or don't click)
• Bounce Rate Cookies: Measures if you leave immediately (we're sensitive)

Functional Cookies

These cookies remember your preferences. Because we're thoughtful like that.

• Theme Cookies: Remember if you like dark mode (we don't have it, sorry i know its bright)
• Language Cookies: Remember your language (English only, i barely speak english, let alone any other language)
• Volume Cookies: Remember your music volume (if we had audio controls)

Third-Party Cookies

We don't use many third-party cookies because:

• We're too cheap to pay for fancy analytics
• We don't want to share your data
• Third parties are expensive
• We're lazy
• It isn't really needed anyway
• We value your privacy (said no other website like ever)

How Long Do Cookies Last?

• Session Cookies: Disappear when you close your browser (like a bad dream)
• Persistent Cookies: Stick around for months (like that one friend)
• Forever Cookies: Last until you delete them (or the heat death of the universe)

Managing Your Cookies

How to Control Cookies

• Browser Settings: Most browsers let you control cookies
• Incognito Mode: Cookies disappear when you close the window
• Extensions: uBlock Origin, Privacy Badger, etc.
• Don't Visit: The nuclear option LMFAO

Opting Out

You can opt out of our cookies (that dont even exist) by:

• Using browser settings to block cookies
• Clearing cookies regularly
• Using a VPN (extra privacy!)
• Just not using our site (please dont do that, come back)

Cookies and Your Privacy

Our cookies collect:

NOTE: I DO NOT ACTUALLY COLLECT ANYTHING, ONLY GITHUB DOES

• Your IP address (but we don't store it long)
• Pages you visit (we're curious)
• Time spent on site (we get lonely)
• Device information (phone, tablet, computer)
• Browser type (Chrome, Firefox, Safari, Edge)

We don't collect:

• Personal information (name, email, etc.)
• Financial data (we wish)
• Location data (unless you tell us)
• Anything creepy

Cookie Updates

We may update this cookie policy when:

• We add new features (unlikely)
• We change analytics providers (never)
• We feel like it
• Laws change (we'll try to keep up)

Contact Us About Cookies

If you have questions about our cookies:

• Check your browser's cookie settings
• Google "how to manage cookies"
• Don't worry too much (our cookies are harmless)
• Enjoy our music instead

Cookie Alternatives

If you don't like cookies, you could:

• Use Local Storage (similar but different)
• Use Session Storage (temporary only)
• Use IndexedDB (for bigger data)
• Not use the internet (extreme but effective)

Cookie Recipe

While we're on the topic, here's a real cookie recipe:

Ingredients:

• 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 3/4 cup brown sugar, packed
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 large eggs
• 2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

Instructions:

1. Preheat your oven to 375°F (190°C).
2. In a large bowl, mix the flour and baking soda.
3. In another bowl, cream the butter, white sugar, and brown sugar until light and fluffy.
4. Add the vanilla extract and eggs, and mix well.
5. Gradually add the flour mixture to the wet ingredients, mixing until just combined.
6. Stir in the chocolate chips.
7. Drop spoonfuls of the dough onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
8. Bake for 9–12 minutes, or until the edges are golden brown.
9. Let the cookies cool on the baking sheet for a few minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.